Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
