He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
