I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
