Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize