it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
