We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the condom got lost in my hair
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
