I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
