3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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