why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
