Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
