Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
