I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
