Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
