I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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