I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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