The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There r osticjed everywhere
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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