I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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