im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My ATM looks so different sober.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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