The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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