my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I deserve this hangover.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
