You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
