if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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