whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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