in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
