Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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