I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize