So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
