if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
