just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And then my night got REAL pukey
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