He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
