So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize