He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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