he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
