You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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