I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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