Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
