TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
