Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
is wine microwaveable?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize