Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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