im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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