he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wear drunk well.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
