I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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