I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
