? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
