we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
