Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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