Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
