Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
