i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
