STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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