there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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