Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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