How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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