you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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