I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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