So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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