why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
