its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
