Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize