meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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